Today is one of those days. It’s snowy and cold. I want to do something, but I have zero energy. Miss A is pushing her doll stroller around the house. But instead of using a doll, she’s resorted to a bag of “crunchy crackers” (Triscuts) so the dogs will chase her since momma’s too tired. She has also managed to ditch the diapers for the day. Her idea, not mine. But hey, I’ll jump on that bandwagon anytime.
So here I am, with all the time in the world to contemplate life. What a life it’s been! If I had to give a title to our last 3 years, it would have to be, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. How we went from thinking we would only ever be blessed with Mr. D and be these young, carefree empty nesters to the surprise of Miss A, to the loss of baby number 3, and now cancer. Like I said…. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.
There are days that it feels so normal. Then there are days that I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. But it’s not someone else’s. It’s ours. All of it. The moments of joy, panic, tears, laughter and insanity. Every single bit of it-ours!
I wouldn’t trade it. Not one second. I know that sounds crazy. But God gives us these times to shape us, mold us and bring us closer to him. I was thinking of this last night. Miss A woke up with what I think was growing pains. She was sobbing, “my legs hurt”. I layed in bed, rubbing her chubby, little legs until she finally fell asleep.
That’s how I picture our relationship with God. There are times that circumstances hurt more than one can imagine. Maybe it’s cancer. Maybe it’s a loss. Maybe it’s a one of a million other things. All we can manage is to whisper to God, “it hurts”, and there he is. Right there by our side -a place he’s never left-, comforting us, guiding us, loving us. These are our growing pains. They hurt. We will cry. But God is there. Grasp on to him.
So here I am, with all the time in the world to contemplate life. What a life it’s been! If I had to give a title to our last 3 years, it would have to be, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. How we went from thinking we would only ever be blessed with Mr. D and be these young, carefree empty nesters to the surprise of Miss A, to the loss of baby number 3, and now cancer. Like I said…. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.
There are days that it feels so normal. Then there are days that I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. But it’s not someone else’s. It’s ours. All of it. The moments of joy, panic, tears, laughter and insanity. Every single bit of it-ours!
I wouldn’t trade it. Not one second. I know that sounds crazy. But God gives us these times to shape us, mold us and bring us closer to him. I was thinking of this last night. Miss A woke up with what I think was growing pains. She was sobbing, “my legs hurt”. I layed in bed, rubbing her chubby, little legs until she finally fell asleep.
That’s how I picture our relationship with God. There are times that circumstances hurt more than one can imagine. Maybe it’s cancer. Maybe it’s a loss. Maybe it’s a one of a million other things. All we can manage is to whisper to God, “it hurts”, and there he is. Right there by our side -a place he’s never left-, comforting us, guiding us, loving us. These are our growing pains. They hurt. We will cry. But God is there. Grasp on to him.