The economy was rough. Jobs were hard to come by. We knew this firsthand. Art had been out of work for almost a year. Money was tight. We had used most of our savings. Unemployment was about to run out too. They didn’t give you extension after extension at that time. That would change within months due to the recession.
I had my own struggles too. The summer before, I had enrolled in an interior design program at a local college. Just two weeks after enrolling is when Art lost his job. But I was already enrolled, so we decided to move forward. We were in between youth pastors which left a lot of holes to plug at church. (I don’t know why I thought they all had to be filled by me.)
By Christmas of 2007, I had pushed my body to its limits. I finished finals on Thursday. Sunday was our Christmas program. The Monday after, I crashed. It was something I had never experienced before. I couldn’t even climb out of bed or walk up the stairs or talk without finding myself almost gasping for air. It was intense.
After months of rest and multiple doctors’ visits, the cause of all of it was due to stress. It was wonderful to finally have a diagnosis.
But it was hard for me to hear. My mind instantly thought, “but I’m not a worrier”.
Silly me. That’s not the only way we can stress our bodies. I had literally taken on a load that never factored in our bodies need to rest. As remarkable as they are, they do have limits. That’s part of being human.
I find myself in a similar situation now. Rest is important. That might mean that my house is dirty, dinner isn’t ready and Miss A watches more tv than is “mom approved”. But I need to heal. I need to be the best mom I can be. Rest is a huge part of that.
I refuse to be angry mom. That’s hard when the toddler is trying to perfect her princess skills and I can barely manage to keep my eyes open. Patience can run thin. But it’s also the time I need to let myself off the hook and do what I need to do.
If you take nothing else away from this post, take this: IT’S OK. You don’t need to keep up, compare yourselves, or run yourselves ragged. We have nothing to prove. BUT we have everything to gain.
Our kids grow quickly. We have such a short time with them as little ones that we NEED to slow it down. Enjoy the little things. Teach them (and us) that it’s ok to not be busy all the time. It’s ok to skip the schedule play dates for a romp in the backyard. Take time to stare at the moon and count the stars. Watch the fireflies dance and listen to the frogs croak. Splash in mud puddles without thinking about the mess. Take time to Be Still and soak it all in.
Be still, and know that I am God
Psalms 46:10
“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”
Psalms 73:26