“God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying His servant and molding a man.”
Ron Hamilton
The last few days have been a little trying around the Fader household. Saturday morning, I had a little spotting. I wasn’t overly concerned because I did the same with Arden around the same gestational week. I decided to take it easy and if it happened again I would go get checked out. It did happen again in the early afternoon. So, with some hesitation I headed to our local hospital.
I quickly had a room, an IV and was on my way to ultrasound. Typically, during an emergency room ultrasound the tech is not allowed to say anything about baby and they aren’t supposed to let you see the screen either. She did great at not saying anything. But I could see the screen plain as day. I’ve had enough ultrasounds to know what I should have been seeing at 11 weeks. Sadly, I wasn’t seeing a thing.
Soon after arriving back in my room, the doctor came in and sat down. (It’s never good news when they sit.) He confirmed my “suspicion”. The ultrasound measured Baby #3 at seven weeks (we should’ve been at eleven) and they could not find a heartbeat. It was inevitable that I would soon miscarry.
By Saturday evening, I had some mild cramping. We chose to stay home from church on Sunday because we weren’t sure how things were going to play out. We did manage to get together with family for Father’s Day although it was a struggle. By 5pm, I was feeling much worse and just wanted to climb into bed.
Monday morning the pain was really intense. I called my doctor and he told me to go straight to ER. By the time we found a babysitter, I could barely walk out to the car much less down the stairs to get dressed. (I actually left the house in my pajamas…eek!). We got to ER around 10:30am. It was fairly empty so my hopes of being seen and possibly home in a few hours didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility. Did I mention that it was Monday, 90 degrees and a FULL MOON at a city hospital? One day I will just write about that experience alone. We spent the next 7 hours in the waiting room. The pain just got increasingly worse. There were a few times that I just broke down in tears because I couldn’t handle it anymore.
Around 5pm we got a room and quickly saw a doctor. Because of the amount of pain, I was in, he suspected an ectopic pregnancy or infection. He did blood work and a new ultrasound. He also became my new favorite person when he gave me a dose of morphine. Even with that I had several “contractions” that I had to breathe thru. But it was much more tolerable.
All tests came back negative which was good. The ultrasound confirmed that I was in the midst of miscarrying. And the reason for the pain? Well, I just happen to be one of the lucky one in a million that have that severe of pain during such an event. (I’m such an overachiever). The final question of the day was whether I could continue allowing things to happen on their own or if I needed surgery. My vote was to just let things continue. Thankfully, my doctor agreed. They gave me one more round of morphine and sent me home with some pretty good drugs to help manage the pain. Finally, after 12+ hours at the hospital, we were out the door.
I saw my doctor Tuesday morning for a follow up. That was one of few times I’ve gotten emotional. My first pregnancy appointment was scheduled for next week. The thought of that along with the giant bear hug I got from my doctor made me shed a tear or two.
So, you want to ask a million questions the first being how are we? We are good emotionally and physically. We are resting peacefully knowing that God has a plan.
Why did this happen? We don’t know and we may never know. That’s ok. God doesn’t always give us “the why”. But he does always give us loving, caring, sovereign arms to run to. And that right there is enough.
What can you do to help? Dishes, laundry? Just kidding. Keep us in your prayers for quick healing. Pray for our families as they also have to deal with this loss. Pray that we can one day use this experience to help encourage someone. Pray that thru this that people will see how great and powerful of a God we serve that they may come to know him.
Thank you all!
Hollie
When trying His servant and molding a man.”
Ron Hamilton
The last few days have been a little trying around the Fader household. Saturday morning, I had a little spotting. I wasn’t overly concerned because I did the same with Arden around the same gestational week. I decided to take it easy and if it happened again I would go get checked out. It did happen again in the early afternoon. So, with some hesitation I headed to our local hospital.
I quickly had a room, an IV and was on my way to ultrasound. Typically, during an emergency room ultrasound the tech is not allowed to say anything about baby and they aren’t supposed to let you see the screen either. She did great at not saying anything. But I could see the screen plain as day. I’ve had enough ultrasounds to know what I should have been seeing at 11 weeks. Sadly, I wasn’t seeing a thing.
Soon after arriving back in my room, the doctor came in and sat down. (It’s never good news when they sit.) He confirmed my “suspicion”. The ultrasound measured Baby #3 at seven weeks (we should’ve been at eleven) and they could not find a heartbeat. It was inevitable that I would soon miscarry.
By Saturday evening, I had some mild cramping. We chose to stay home from church on Sunday because we weren’t sure how things were going to play out. We did manage to get together with family for Father’s Day although it was a struggle. By 5pm, I was feeling much worse and just wanted to climb into bed.
Monday morning the pain was really intense. I called my doctor and he told me to go straight to ER. By the time we found a babysitter, I could barely walk out to the car much less down the stairs to get dressed. (I actually left the house in my pajamas…eek!). We got to ER around 10:30am. It was fairly empty so my hopes of being seen and possibly home in a few hours didn’t seem out of the realm of possibility. Did I mention that it was Monday, 90 degrees and a FULL MOON at a city hospital? One day I will just write about that experience alone. We spent the next 7 hours in the waiting room. The pain just got increasingly worse. There were a few times that I just broke down in tears because I couldn’t handle it anymore.
Around 5pm we got a room and quickly saw a doctor. Because of the amount of pain, I was in, he suspected an ectopic pregnancy or infection. He did blood work and a new ultrasound. He also became my new favorite person when he gave me a dose of morphine. Even with that I had several “contractions” that I had to breathe thru. But it was much more tolerable.
All tests came back negative which was good. The ultrasound confirmed that I was in the midst of miscarrying. And the reason for the pain? Well, I just happen to be one of the lucky one in a million that have that severe of pain during such an event. (I’m such an overachiever). The final question of the day was whether I could continue allowing things to happen on their own or if I needed surgery. My vote was to just let things continue. Thankfully, my doctor agreed. They gave me one more round of morphine and sent me home with some pretty good drugs to help manage the pain. Finally, after 12+ hours at the hospital, we were out the door.
I saw my doctor Tuesday morning for a follow up. That was one of few times I’ve gotten emotional. My first pregnancy appointment was scheduled for next week. The thought of that along with the giant bear hug I got from my doctor made me shed a tear or two.
So, you want to ask a million questions the first being how are we? We are good emotionally and physically. We are resting peacefully knowing that God has a plan.
Why did this happen? We don’t know and we may never know. That’s ok. God doesn’t always give us “the why”. But he does always give us loving, caring, sovereign arms to run to. And that right there is enough.
What can you do to help? Dishes, laundry? Just kidding. Keep us in your prayers for quick healing. Pray for our families as they also have to deal with this loss. Pray that we can one day use this experience to help encourage someone. Pray that thru this that people will see how great and powerful of a God we serve that they may come to know him.
Thank you all!
Hollie