I’m raising a little Jonah.
I give a command and Little Miss turns and runs in the opposite direction. I’m fairly certain if she earned allowance, she would use it to book passage to Tarshish....well, maybe Grandma’s. But either way, she’s pretty intent on trying to escape doing what has been asked of her.
Running from mom, won’t land you in the belly of a whale. But there is a consequence. I know that at this age, it’s what they do. But I still need to address it. And I need to see it for what it truly is-disobedience.
Ephesians 6:1 says “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
It’s pretty clear that our kids need to be obedient. But they won’t and can’t be obedient if we, as parents, don’t require it.
Yes, I know it’s tiring. Yes, there’s days that you feel like all you do is discipline. And yes, there’s times that it seems like what you’re doing isn’t working because Little Jonah is still on the run. But we need to keep at it.
There are often moments when I think jumping ship and being swallowed by a giant fish might be more appealing than addressing the toddler’s shortcomings one more time. But I’m mom. I love being mom. I cherish it. And I look at it for the God-given gift it is.
I’m also human and frustration can set in quickly. So here are a few things I do to help keep me focused, not frustrated.
Obey Right Away
Arden probably says this in her sleep because I say it a million times a day. But when I ask her to do something, it needs to be immediately. I give her time to respond, of course. But it needs to be quickly.
This means no more nagging on my end which is a beautiful thing.
Obey With A Happy Heart (Cheerfully)
Try to say “bubbles” when you’re angry.
You can’t. That’s why when I ask Arden to do something and she wants to grumble, I say, “show me your happy heart”. Soon she will smile. Toddlers can’t smile and be sad at the same time. By the way, I stole the “show me your happy heart” phraseology from a friend. It’s That good!
Obey Completely
This is one we are just now starting to touch on. But if I say, “pick up your toys and put them away” she needs to pick up ALL of the toys AND put them where they belong. Not under the bed or hidden in the closet.
Follow Through
This is the toughest one because it takes action on our part. And we’re tired. But it’s so necessary. Without this, we are just noisemakers that our kids soon learn to ignore. If our kids choose to disobey, there needs to be discipline.
React, Don’t Overreact
Simply put, the punishment should fit the crime. Spilled water requires cleaning not tar and feathers.
Ditch the Dont’s
Kids are surrounded by “dont’s”. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. And many of those are necessary. (Don’t play in the road, don’t bite your sister, don’t eat random food off the grocery store floor).
I’m not saying to ditch all the rules. I’m saying pick your battles. If you prefer toys to be put away a certain way, but your little one wants to put them away in their own way, don’t fight that. At the end of the day, toys are where they belong. Your little one obeyed! Don’t discourage that by fighting how it got done.
In everything, focus on obedience over preference. They are little humans and will develop their own way of doing things. It’s not wrong it’s just different.